H.R.H. Victoria

Today I was attended by my legal advisor Mr. Samuel Forster of Lincolns Inn. He feels that Miss Nichols may have a prima facie case against Eddie, on account of the fact that she can testify, in person, that it was indeed Eddie who murdered her. This scenario would seem to pose some problems.

However, Mr. Forster did point out that in the absence of statutory Health and Safety notices in Miss Nichols' place of employment expressly forbidding the stabbing of prostitutes, that we might have a leg to stand on. Further enquiries are necessary.

Eine gute Nachricht für einen Wechsel!. I do lapse into my first language at times!. This afternoon myself and dear Albert witnessed a most agreeably large number of visitors from Albert's fatherland to our home. They were most intrigued by the large portrait of my grandson Kaiser Wilhelm II. I will admit that he's a genocidal megalomaniac, but he's family.

I will have to go now as our idiot son Bertie has just been spotted escorting a young woman towards the trees which adorn the lower portion of our magnificent lawn. Stupid boy.

H.R.H. Victoria

Eddie and Bertie have decamped to a nearby tavern for the evening. The local constabulary have been alerted. Meanwhile myself and dear Albert held a soiree attended by my old friend the Hon. Lady Biddulph, amongst others. The evening was progressing in a most pleasing fashion until there was a most ferocious explosion which emanated from the terrace. Upon looking out of the window I discovered that Wilhelm was experimenting with ordnance.

A palm tree which I planted some 50 years ago now lays in distress amongst the rubble of the terrace wall. I hate that boy.

It is to be hoped that should Wilhelm ever feel the need to start another World War that he will first pick upon the Americans.

I have to go now as a member of the local constabulary has just arrived to inform me that Eddie and Bertie have been arrested. Stupid men.