Albert has decoded the unintelligible 'text message' which I did receive last night. Apparently it says "Are you up for it, rolling on the floor laughing my arse off". This still did not help my understanding until I was informed that the former section is querying the possibility of an intimate liaison, whilst the latter implies that the author is enjoying an interlude of great merriment.
I replied that I might be 'up4it' depending upon whether the author was rich, handsome and of royal blood. I did not of course mean that, but the outcome of this exchange should prove entertaining.
Last night I had to despatch Mr. Brown to deal with the Fenians and their cannon. He did this admirably, however we now have another three dead Fenians whom we have to conceal. At present they are in the ice house, until we can think of a suitable solution.
I have to go now as a horde of gerbils are careering down our very fine staircase. Beatrice I hate you. Stupid girl.
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7 comments:
Your Royal Highnesses. Speaking as a brainless scumbag I am unsure of how to approach royalty. Is it okay therefore if I address you as Al & Vicky?
Yours with the humblest
Chris Wood
Dear Mr. Wood,
We are most glad that you have chosen to visit us. Addressing us as Al & Vicky will be quite acceptable. We hope to see you again soon,
H.R.H. Victoria
Just out of curiosity...are you up for it, as t'were?
I am of exceptionally noble blood, and noble seed, to boot.
Yours respectfully aroused,
Lord Likely.
Vicky, his Lordship regularly hammers nails in with his cock and can produce enough essence of Cupid to launch an armada.
Al, he's after your bird.
Dear Lord Likely,
It is most pleasing to hear from you. That our blog is now being read by aristocracy as well as my more humble subjects is excellent news.
With regard to my being "up for it" (or not) you mention that you are of noble blood and noble seed, are you however....rich?. I only ask because the number of impoverished aristocrats seems to be growing daily, mostly those who have played cards with my daughter Louise.
H.R.H. Victoria
Speaking as a humble subject, might I urge our gracious sovereign to consider the quality of rogering involved? His Lordship has, I am reliably informed, a stupendous wang.
Gentlemen, your comments are as always most welcome. However I feel that I must issue a royal proclamation calling for the observance of a little more decorum.
H.R.H. Victoria
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